im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
