my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
