Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
