it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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