better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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