Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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