at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My life is pants optional.
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