just tell him i said nine months
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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