hotel room ftw
I need help removing her.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
