I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
