Already got asked if we're dating
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
