Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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