is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
