I wish I could punch you in the face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
