my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize