Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
