Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
