There was a lot of him and a little penis
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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