haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
