Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
