dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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