he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You don't make any sense
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