Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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