I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
