I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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