What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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