My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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