How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
