Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
