I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
