you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
