My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am available for nakedness
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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