he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize