you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this just has baby written all over it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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