i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and she was petting her beer can
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm always down for nudity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
