Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
