hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize