My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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