I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
