brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
