Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wanna passion pit in your ass
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
