Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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