I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
