I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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