Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
