as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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