Did you just see the Batmobile???
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
