Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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