please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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