you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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