I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think your dad took our porno
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize