Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
