I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
