how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
