Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
