I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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