can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just found puke in my bra..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
