I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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