yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
