And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think I just sharted jello shots
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