I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize