I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think I died a long time ago.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
3pm strippers are depressing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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