there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
