I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize