xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
