Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
