you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
