what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
