at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My vagina is officially offended.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
