i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
