Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
