I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sex in a hospital.. check
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
