I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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